Masks of Inuyasha
by DemonBlade
Summary: Inuyasha has relized something important and has to fix somethin before it's to late to get tha gal!
1. Default Chapter

Masks that Inuyasha Wears By DemonBlade  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Don't be fooled by me.  
  
Don't be fooled be the face I wear.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha looked over the horizon from his perch on the Goshinboku. **sigh.....what a shitty day....**  
  
~*~*~*~*~*FLASH BACK*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Earlier that day he went to pick Kagome up from her time. When he got there she wasn't homw so he followed her scent to a park. There he found her with **That Hobo guy....**. Hojo and Kagome were sitting on a bench in front of a huge lake. Inuyasha hid in the brush across the lake where he could see them perfectly. The boy put his arms around Kagome and hugged her to him and the young miko cuddled into him. From across the lake Inuyasha watch the sweet scean with no small amount of dispair. Hojo twisted so that his face was an inch away from Kagome's and leaned in. He kissed her. Worse, from where Inuyasha was it looked like she was kissing back. The inu-hanyou felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.  
  
~*~*~*~*~FLASH BACK~*~*~*~*~  
  
**Heh....my heart is shattered....just like the Shikon no Tama. It hurts so bad.more than Sesshomaru running me throught with his talons.** Inuyasha's eyes were brimmed with tears and he laughed bitterly. **I never told her any way.What good would it do?! After all....what respective miko..hells, what respective MIKO would love a filthy half-breed....?!** Tears were flowing unbidden down his face. **I'm crying.**  
  
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,  
  
masks I'm afraid to take off,  
  
and none of them is me.  
  
  
  
From under him he heard Kagome calling him. Inuyasha wiped his tear quickly and took on his gruff, indifferent tone. A mask.  
  
"What is it, wench?"  
  
Kagome huffed in annoyance. "Jeeze. I just came here to tell you that dinner's going to be served."  
  
"So?"  
  
"With or without you, Dog-boy."  
  
He glared down at her from his branch.  
  
"Go suck a stick."  
  
"Why don't you go fetch one?"  
  
"Bitch."  
  
"Baka."  
  
"Wench."  
  
"Dog-turd."  
  
He growled at that one. That was that damn wimpy-wolf's name for him. "Go fuck off you sorry excuse for a miko. You can't even get as good as Kikyo, you pathetic reincarnation."  
  
Kagome's face went from anger, to shock, to hurt, and then was a mix of pain and betrayal.  
  
"Y-you bastard," she whispered in a pained voice. Inuysaha backed away a little, knowing what was coming next. "OSUWARI!" He thumped to the ground. She shouted in a chocking voice," OSUWARI! OSUWARI! OSUWARI! OSUWARI! OSUWARI!!!!!!!"  
  
Inuyasha was in a three feet deep Inuyasha shaped crater moaning as Kagome ran away crying.  
  
**I have to stay like this....I have to be crule!** he thought savagely. **I have to stay strong. I need this mask. It'll protect me and eventually she'll see.....she'll see that I'm doing her a big favor....**  
  
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me,  
  
but don't be fooled.  
  
For God's sake don't be fooled.  
  
Inuyasha walked to Kaede-baba's hut after he was able to walk. He was greated by the faces of his companions. Miroku, Sango, Shippo......Kagome. **None of them knew and none of them will!** he promised in his head. **None of them can get close to me.....none of them!** He sat down Indian style on the flor and threw them a 'feh'. **I'll just keep pretending.....I know how to do that. Just keep pretending.**  
  
I give you the impression that I'm secure,  
  
that confidence is my name and coolness is my game,  
  
that the water's calm and I'm in command,  
  
and that I need no one.  
  
But don't believe me.  
  
Miroku spoke, "So Inuyasha, would you like to go fishing with Shippo and I?"  
  
Inuyasha gave him a look that clearly stated 'Id rather be dismembered' and then simply stated, "No."  
  
Then he walked out of the hut.  
  
  
  
Reviews make the world go 'round and the author write! 


	2. Chapter 2

Masks Of Inuyasha  
  
Chapter 2  
  
My surface may seem smooth but my surface  
  
is my mask, ever-varying and ever- concealing.  
  
Beneath lies no complacence.  
  
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.  
  
**Why..why did I refuse....why do I push them away...?** Inuyasha watched the kitsune kit and the hentai monk walk out of the hut. **Am I that afraid to make friends...to care?** He thought about his childhood. Being shuned and thought a freak, a horror by mortals and to be hunted down by yokai....**I've gotta stay this way, though. I have to. I don't want to be hurt any more!**  
  
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.  
  
I panic at the thought of my fear an weakness being exposed.  
  
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,  
  
a nonchalant sophisticated façade, to help me pretend,  
  
to shield me from the glance that knows.  
  
**No one can know my weakness...no one can know how human my heart is! It's a weaknessthey'll take advantage of!** He wasn't sure if he was right but that was all he knew since his mother died. Then he met Kikyo. **She found out my weakness and look what it got me! Pinned to a god damn tree for fifty freaking years! My mask works for me! It'll save me....** Then he thought about Kagome. **But she knows....those looks she throws at me..pittying looks...I have to pretend!!**  
  
but a glance is precisely my salvation.  
  
My only hope, and I know it.  
  
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,  
  
if it's followed by love.  
  
**She wants to break down my wall...that damn woman! She doesn't know that she is....and that because of that I'm scared spitless. I'm crule to her and try to push her away but she's always there!! I don't wanna love again! Love only hurts....people die and people get pinned to trees...I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE!!!** 


	3. IMPORTANT NOTE!

NOTE!!!!  
  
Due to school and that sort of stuff I'll only post one or twice a week on only one or two fics. It all depends on how much time I have. I promise that I'll at least get 1 chapter out a week. That's all really. BAI_BAAAAAIIIII!!!!!  
  
-Rei 


	4. Oh the relizations and grammer errors!

Masks of Inuyasha  
  
Chapter 3 is dedicated to all who have reviewed! You're keeping me going!  
  
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,  
  
from my own self built prison walls,  
  
from the barriers so painstakingly erect.  
  
**Why...how? How does she break through my defenses? How can she make me fell so warm?** He thought to himself, contemplating everything. I know I care for her.but I have so much that I owe.It hurts so much though.** A picture of Kagome and Hojo kissing flash through his head. **It hurts so much.have I really hurt her so much that she's turned to a scrawny human boy for comfort? Have I hurt her so much that she's given up hope on me.?** Realization jolted through him like lightening. This is how she must feel every time she sees me with Kikyo.every time we embrace. Every time I say that I'll got to Hell with her. and I've done it so many times.how could I have been so STUPID!**  
  
It's the only thing that will assure me  
  
of what I can't assure myself,  
  
that I'm really worth something.  
  
**I'm so sorry Kagome..I'm so sorry!** He was crying. Inuyasha hardly ever cried, if he ever had. He relized what he's been doing, how he feels, and what he needs and it scared him. **I can't believe how selfish I've been.all this time I've been moping about how she kissed a boy and all this time I've been doing the same yet ten fold.** His heart twisted. He had to talk to Kagome. **She should be alone.the baba's treating a sick person, the hentai and kitsune are fishing, and Sango's helping the baba. Perfect time to talk with her..*  
  
And so he jumped out of the tree, jumping tree-top to tree-top on his way to Kaede's hut.  
  
  
  
I dunno if this'd be considered a cliff hanger but it might be one.^^; I hope yall like it.It may be short but I think it's ok..ah welss! Reviews would be nice!! 


	5. Chapter 4 i guess

Masks of Inuyasha  
  
Chapter 4 is dedicated to all who have reviewed! You guys inspire me!!! ^___^ I'd also like to dedicate this to my Imoto-chan and BFF Sam!! You guys kick ass!!  
  
~~~~~  
  
I don't like to hide.  
  
I don't like to play superficial phony games.  
  
I want to stop playing them.  
  
Inuyasha ran through the treetops at an unusually fast speed. His face was serious looking even with the quickly fading tearstains. **I have to tell her soon..soon better than later..** To Inuyasha, the trees were gone and all that was left was him and his destination. **I..I hope I'm not to late! I want her to know and to choose me!** The village was now visible. The whole of the village could be seen from where he was. Inuyasha hopped down from the trees and walked towards Kaede-baba's hut.  
  
"BABA," Inuyasha boomed, "Where's Kagome?!"  
  
Kaede's face remained impassive as she replied,"She's not here. Kagome left for her world about five minutes ago."  
  
Inuyasha was out of the door before she could say 'bye'.  
  
**Methinks that something is afoot. Me also thinks that Inuyasha's brain is not the size of a walnut after all.**  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Inuyasha picked up Kagome's scent around the beginning of his forest. **Inuyasha Forest..named after the hanyou who kicked it there.** He let out a harsh laugh and then got back to the matter at hand. **Kagome, I'm not letting you get away...!!**  
  
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,  
  
but you've got to help me.  
  
Inuyasha followed Kagome's scent to the well where he found her. She was about ten feet away from the well. **SHIT! She's gonna leave me for that...guy..**  
  
"KAGOME!!"  
  
Kagome spun around quickly, a look of soprise on her face.  
  
"Inuyasha," she exclaimed, "W-hat are you doing here?"  
  
"I.."  
  
Cliff hanger for 2 reasons. A) I've run out of ideas for the moment B) I've still got about 5 lines to the poem left. 


	6. Truth

Hey all.sorry it took so damn long to get more out.major writer's block, ya know? 'sides, had a Bat Mitzvah and everything so.. Hope u like.. -Rei  
  
1. means italics - ** thoughts **  
  
Chapter 5: Truth  
  
  
  
You've got to hold out your hand  
  
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.  
  
  
  
"I.I've gotta tell you something."  
  
She looked at him curiously. "What?"  
  
"You can't go back to your time!" he blurted out, saying what he usually did out of habit.  
  
Kagome's look went from shocked to angry in a second. "Oh? Is that IT? Inuyasha, I don't have time for this! I'm so -sick- of this! I'm going home for a week! Don't bother chasing after me! I've got too much to do and -don't- have time to baby sit you!" She huffed and turned to jump into the well.  
  
"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled desperately "No! That wasn't what I meant to say..it was just a habit! Onegai! Hear me out!"  
  
  
  
Only you can wipe away from my eyes  
  
the bland stare of the breathing dead.  
  
  
  
She turned her head around enough so she could see him. "Oh? You've got a minute, the I'm gone. And remember: -Don't follow me!-"  
  
Inuyasha inhaled and spoke, "Kagome..all of those times I called you 'bitch' and 'wench' and 'baka'..I NEVER meant ANY of it! I..I've been hurt emotionally so much as a pup I didn't know who to trust. I built up so many walls to keep out the hur. All of those names..those fucking people threw rocks at me! They called me an abomination..a mistake. Humans shunned me and demons treated me like dir and used me as a punching bag! The day I met Kikyo.I thought I was in love after a while. She understood me. But then she betrayed me! After we professed our love, I was shot through the heart with -her- arrow. What little bit of me started to trust again was thrown to the wind! Damn it..then -you- came along..so cheerful, naïve, and looking like Kikyo. It reopened wounds and woke me from a sleep I had no desire to wake from! EVER! I didn't wanna face the world again! Not after the Kikyo Incident!"  
  
  
  
Only you can call me into aliveness.  
  
Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,  
  
  
  
He took in a deep, broken breath and continued, "But.you acted like you actually -cared- about what happened to me and I thought it was a nasty trick..luring me into false security and then betraying me or something. But as the days and battles passed, I realized that you weren't faking it. You actually cared about me. I started to love you after the fight with the spider heads when I was human. You came back to me after I told you to stay.you shed tears for me! No one EVER did that! Only Mother did when she was still here. I loved you so much since then but, hey, who could love a lowly hanyou?" He said that with suck bitterness and sadness that Kagome gasped. Had he really been treated so badly?  
  
She looked at Inuyasha with pity. "Oh, Inuyasha."  
  
"NO!" he shouted "DON'T PITY ME! Just.just listen!"  
  
Kagome nodded her head mutely, letting him continue.  
  
"I didn't wanna be hurt again so I became even harsher towards you. Never calling you by your name, insulting you, never letting you go to your time without a fight.I was pushing you away. I was so sick of being hurt..all those I loved died or betrayed me. I figured you were no acceptation to the unwritten rule. Besides, a hanyou and a miko? It'd -never- work. So I built an impenetrable wall..I hid behind masks that showed a hard, nasty exterior."  
  
  
  
Each time you try to understand because you really care,  
  
My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,  
  
Very feeble wings,  
  
But wings!  
  
"But every time I was cold and cruel, every time I hurt you and every time you saw me with Kikyo, you forgave me! Me! Another thing no one EVER did! And yet, you did it -every day-! But I still pushed you away, for you own good and mine. But I couldn't help but be jealous with that wimpy wolf and damn human after you. You're MINE! At least.I want you to be. The way you treated me kindly and how you cared about me lead me to believe you might love me too, so I decided to go to your time to tell you how I feel.and I followed you scent to a park..where I found you kissing that human boy..the Hobo kid. I finally found out what it was like when you saw me and Kikyo together, but there was a difference. I had a debt to Kikyo where as you and that boy could court and mate.and it hurt. It hurt knowing that this lowly one wasn't worth your love, and I knew the fact long before I saw you in that humans arms. I knew you were better than me."  
  
Kagome stared at him in shock, eyes shining with unshed tears. **Oh, Inuyasha.my poor, sweet Inuyasha..you actually love me? And you felt that you didn't deserve me? That you were too pathetic? Inuyasha.**  
  
  
  
With your power to touch me into feeling  
  
  
  
Inuyasha spoke again, "I.I just needed to tell you that. I needed to tell you how I felt.before you left for your home and went to that boy of yours." Inuyasha looked down at his feet, not wanting Kagome to see his tears. "I..just wanted you to know."  
  
There was a silence. Inuyasha, with his head bent, was waiting for Kagome to say something. Anything.  
  
When she still hadn't spoken after a minute or twos, he asked in a dejected tone, "Does my confession disgust you so much? So much you won't say anything? Am I so appalling to you?"  
  
Kagome was taken aback by those words. Why would he think that?! Kagome slowly walked forward, closing the yard between them. When she was a few inches from his, she lifted his face up looking him in the eyes. Inuyasha jerked his head away from her and bowed his head again, but Kagome saw the tears first.  
  
**He's crying?! Inuyasha..strong, gruff Inuyasha, crying?! He really is hurt..**  
  
"Inuyasha," she said softly while lifting his head up, " Iie. I'm not disgusted but you. I don't love Hojo, either..never Hojo. He's sweet but oblivious. He's weak, soft, and simple. He' too nice. The total opposite of what I want in a guy."  
  
"What is it that you want in man?" Inuyasha asked it a wavering voice.  
  
"I want him to protect me..I want to fight with him, knowing it'll never be serious. I want him to be sweet yet gruff, king yet crude, loving yet mean. I want him to love me forever and I want him to know about my ventures in the Sengoku Jidai and not think I'm insane or something. I don't car what he is. Human, angel, yokai..or hanyou."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Hai, really. Inuyasha, I could never be disgusted by you! I couldn't because then..then how would it be possible I love you so much?"  
  
Inuaysha looked questioningly at her. "Kagome.?"  
  
She went on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
"Aishiteru, Inuaysha," she kissed him again but this time more heatedly, "Aishiteru"  
  
You can breathe life into me.  
  
I want you to know that.  
  
  
  
*~OWARI~*  
  
  
  
So.after a month or two, I end the fic..how was it? Was the ending to mushy? Review please! 


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